20417

New school semester.
Life seems difficult right now.
I feel like I can't meet any one persons expectations of me right now.
I wonder if other people have these little crises of self faith.

20439

Yesterday was my 29th birthday.
I am never sure what to think of these things anymore.
The person I was and the person I have become disagree as to what is the most appropriate way to celebrate the passing of a year.
Now more than at any point in my life am I certain that I am going to die, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
I do not mean I am dying in a immediate sense.
I am dying in an inevitable sense.
I suppose most people just get over it and get on with their lives, and for the most part I do the same.
It is just when I am relaxing or my mind wanders that I feel a sense of dread, or terror. I know what it is. It is death waiting in the wings.
I am not going give up living, or whatever, I am just sort of ... disappointed.
It all just seems so fucking typical.
So banal.
Do not mind me, I am just going to be kicking rocks for awhile.
Although, when you think about it, it does seem a little ... unfair.
Oh, is that a rock I can kick?